What Is Hero Instinct in Men? 12-Word Text Revealed To Trigger.


Hero Instinct in men is a biological and natural drive that makes them feel loved and appreciated by their partner. When a woman triggers her man’s Hero Instinct, the man becomes more serious about their relationship. James Bauer first introduced to the world the concept of Hero Instinct via his best-selling relationship book” His Secret Obsession”.

“And yet again the same thing happened! My goodness! How could I ever keep a man happy? Let alone his happiness, when can I be happy in a relationship?  I do not understand how to talk to him. Am I not triggering his hero instincts?

This is incredible! Finding love is not really the toughest taskmaster, but keeping love safe is a daunting task….if you do not know this super magical formula that can work wonders!”

If you are someone who is trying to get unstuck in relationships, then Hero Instinct is definitely for you.

Knowing this magical formula can save you from a million heartbreaks. Let alone that. It can also stick all the broken pieces of your heart with love that flows to infinity and beyond.

To the amazing ladies who are struggling with keeping amazing men, this is it! You just have to Trigger Your Man’s Hero Instinct”.

Want to know everything possible about the hero instinct and the impact it can have on your relationship? Here we go!

What Is The Hero Instinct?

Hero Instinct” is a word coined by a relationship specialist, James Bauer. He first used this word in his book “His Secret Obsession”. The hero instinct simply means that every man has a feeling of feeling loved by, respected, and appreciated by his partner. Every man has a deep biological need to feel important and deeply cherished.

This makes your man feel fulfilled and helps him take an active role in the relationship. It improves your connection with your partner and gets him to commit to you in a relationship.

Are you ready to learn more about the Hero Instinct and the ways that can help you in making your love life better? Then I would recommend you to watch the below video. I wish you the best of luck with your love life. I know this video will help you a lot. Watch the video below.

Why Men Pull Away

10 Powerful Ways To Trigger The Hero Instinct in Men

The Hero Instinct is a psychological tool for a woman in her relationship that can help her in mending the relationship and reigniting the spark that her relationship has lost. The Hero Instinct is useful for all women in almost all relationship issues. But to learn it and use it effectively is very important. Here are 10 ways any woman can use to trigger his man’s Hero Instinct.

1)- “Could You Please Help Me With…..?”

No matter how small the task could be, no matter how silly it might seem to you, just ASK. Asking for help from your partner makes him feel good.

Psychologically, it makes him feel like a provider, a protector, and a nurturer. It makes him feel safe and nice to know that you are counting on him to get a task done, giving him a probable ‘Hero’ feeling.

2)- What Is The Safest Place For You To Be In?

Reminding your partner that being in their arms or with them makes you feel so protected and safe only makes him fall in love with you more. Your man would love to know that he is your safe place!

You can say or send messages like…

“Having a really bad day at work. Can’t wait to see you”.

“Being with you is the safest place to be”.

“I feel so protected when I am with you. Nothing can harm me”.

“Uffff! I’m in terrible pain. Can’t wait to be in your arms!”.

These messages make your partner feel more connected to you emotionally.

3)- Those Little Extra Praises Can Take You Far.

Come on, who likes to feel humiliated and insulted in front of everyone? Likewise, who does not like to be praised a little? Just a little bit of praise, or showcasing your partner’s abilities, especially in front of his peers can boost his self-confidence. It makes him feel like a ‘hero’.

It makes him believe that you are more comfortable in taking his help and appreciating him for it. Doing this when the occasion is right definitely boosted your relationship.

“….I am so glad that my partner came to pick me up from the office at the right time”.

“..If it was not for my partner’s help today, I would have missed the train”.

“It was purely out of his support and understanding that this was possible”.

Doing this subtly when the situation demands triggers your partner’s hero instinct. That is the key to maintaining good long-term relationships.

4)- It’s The Little Things That Count In Life.

Be mindful and vigilant about all the small things he does for you. It can be getting the grocery, making the bed, making some coffee, or picking up your favorite flowers while on his way back home. Make a note of all of that.

So what is after taking notice? Should you just let it go? Not! Express gratitude and communicate. Communicate how that small thing made your day. Compliment him for showing his pure unconditional love.

Send him messages like,

“…the dishes were clean by the time I got back home. Thanks! You are my hero!”

“…your wife lovveedd the flowers that you got for her. Love you!”.

These messages make your partner feel heard, acknowledged and understood. Falling in love with you a little more is an essential by-product of this.

According to the Utah State University, couples who show gratitude more often are likely to be more happy in their relationship than ones who don’t show much gratitude to their partners.

New research has revealed that men are attracted to this one thing. 99% of women don’t know about this simple and easy method that can attract any man. Watch the below video to learn more about this.

New Research

5)- What’s Your Opinion Please?

Seeking advice from your partner makes him believe in his abilities a little more. This is a tell-tale sign of a mature adult relationship. Knowing his side of the story, addressing his point of view, looking up to him for assistance, and counting on his decisions and choices make him feel big and important.

It makes him look at himself with dignity and pride. Thorough exchange of healthy conversations, learning to navigate through a conflict, appreciating the differences between each other, and striving to find a common way out together strengthens the bond better by a million times. Your partner will not want to leave your side eventually.

6)- What’s up with you in return?

Relationships are always about give and take. There must be genuine efforts from both parties to feel loved and understood.

It is not necessary that the efforts must be 50-50. There can be days and times when the ratio of give and take can be as low as 90-10 too.

Provided that the genuine effort to get better and work on oneself is there, provided that the balance between give and take does not border on toxic relationships, it is always worth the take.

For all that your partner does to you, show something from your end that you truly care about them. Show up every day with gratitude and love in return. You can always prepare something that he loves to eat, buy him his favorite suit, and take him out on a date.

How exactly do that? Remember there is no shortcut to a healthy relationship. So explaining a little more is always beneficial. For example, you can say something like,

“….It was so nice of you to get me flowers yesterday. I loved them. I truly appreciate how loving and sincere man you truly are. I am making your favorite dish today. Can’t wait to have it with you. Come home soon!”.

Short, crispy, to-the-point messages might not go well with the flow of emotions. It can come out as strict and formal.

So instead of saying thank you for the surprise received, make sure to express love through acts of service.

7)- Be The One To Break The Stereotype.

Truth be told, there is patriarchy exists even today in some parts of the world. Keep the rights of feminism and women empowerment aside for a while. Somewhere in the process of standing up for women’s rights, we are often crushing men.

Men are asked to be strong and dominating. Men are often asked to not cry. They are often trained ever since childhood that crying is a sign of weakness. Most men do not feel safe expressing their emotions or venting their sadness. Be that woman who gives her partner the essential safety net to rely on.

Show him that you are non-judgmental and create a safe space so your partner might open up. The relationship is a journey together. Tell him that you would always be there for him. Send him random messages like this,

“Uff…looks like my partner is having a bad day! Not happy? Want to talk? I am always there! I would love for you to talk and let me know how you feel. Your feelings matter to me”.

These messages might make him feel more close and comfortable with you. Remember if you do not know someone at their worst, you simply do not deserve their best. Be the one to support your partner. He might undoubtedly love it!

8)- Show Him How Happy You Are To Be With Him.

Men love to see their partners happy. They feel more excited if they are the reason behind their partner’s happiness. Smile when you are with him. Be happy. Keep that inner child alive. Have the love for life intact and show him that you are lucky and you must be very lucky to have him in your life.

You need not essentially fake your happiness. Likewise, you do not need a reason to be happy. Smiling is contagious. Smile is the only curve that sets everything straight.

9)- A Little Space For Better Bonding.

For an ideal and healthy relationship, growth is the most crucial parameter that one cannot miss out on. Growth in love must be mutual. Two people must be mutually willing to grow in a relationship together. But that also implies that growing individually is important too!

Growing individually and always getting more to the table can help keep the spark alive in the relationship. Giving your partner the space he wants, encouraging him to have fun, asking him to meet his friends, and reminding him that there is also a world outside this relationship that he might be missing can help give him space and grow together.

Being clingy all the time can always make you feel anxious, worried, or afraid can in turn strain the relationship. Send text messages like this,

“…..I see that you forgot to have some fun of late. How about going on a short trip with your friends this weekend? Should I check out a few amazing places for you to visit? This is my treat to how amazing a person you are. Spend some time away from home. Worry not, your lady would be safe!”.

10)- Most Importantly, Remember Not To Mother Him.

When boundaries are not clear, women tend to go overboard and overdo things. Excess of everything is bad. Showing excess love or care, and constantly clinging to your partner in the name of love is toxic.

In the name of love, remember not to question your partner’s sense of freedom. In the name of love, do not take away your partner’s space. That is toxic.

Be okay and realistic with your expectations. Constantly trying to mother him, and not giving him any personal space is a big red flag for the relationship. It only adds to more anger, fighting, and hatred. Have proper boundaries. Define your boundaries. Know where to draw the line between ‘care’ and ‘overcare’.

But what if you are trying all these and still not able to trigger his Hero Instinct? There might be a reason behind this. The reason is your words. A woman on a regular basis unknowingly uses words and phrases that push away her man. It is not your fault but the fault of the wrong choice of words.

But this can be avoided. You can learn more about these words and phrases in the below video.

Men Pull Away

How Does Triggering The Hero Instinct Work?

It works wonders because it is in our DNA. It is a natural desire of men to get appreciated and loved. To feel loved, protected, safe, and comfortable are the fundamental needs of our relationship. We all crave to love and be loved.

There was a study that was published in the Physiology and Behavior journal. It said that the testosterone hormone in men makes them feel protected over their partner’s safety. It is in your partner’s DNA to protect you but it’s in your hands to allow that and appreciate it. See the game change on triggering his hero instinct.

What Is The 12-Words Text Formula To Trigger His Hero Instinct?

The 12-word text message formula to trigger the hero instinct was described by James Bauer in his book, ‘The Secret Obsession’.

The 12-word step formula stands on these 4 concrete parts of the message.

  • Driving the curiosity in him.
  • Being okay with the wait.
  • Express your needs to them.
  • Waiting again.

A little mystery and curiosity help in drawing both of you together. This 12-word texting formula can pique his interest, make him interested in what you want, and helps keep the spark alive.

Waiting is non-negotiable because if you are not patient, it might make you feel anxious and might even spoil the very essence of the game. Practice patience and press the pause when needed. Give him ample space to reply.

Here Are Some Examples of 12-Word Text Messages.

“I love you. I need you. Thank you for being my hero”.

“You always make me blush. Do you know that? I love it”.

“You keep improving as a person. I respect you more for it”.

“I need your advice on this complicated project. Could you please…”

“I am sure you can achieve all that you want to”.

The 12-Word text has the emotional power to make any male think about you more and more. After you send him a 12-word text message, it becomes very hard for him to stop thinking about your words and about you. To know what 12-word text you should use according to you your situation you can watch the video. Tap below to watch.

12 Word Text

When Should You Trigger Your Partner’s Hero Instinct With This Texting Formula?

It is used to maintain healthy and long-lasting relationships. But, it is necessary and works best when used in situations like,

  • He is not sure enough to commit to you.
  • He is super shy to show his hero side.
  • You want him to put in more effort.
  • You want more affection from him without coming out as desperate.
  • You genuinely want to express your support.
  • You want to show your appreciation but in a casual way.
  • You want him to choose you. You want to make him want you.

His Secret Obsession – Let’s Crack The Road To Love.

James Bauer, a relationship expert, wrote this book after working for 12+ years with people having relationship issues. “Triggering the hero instinct” was first mentioned in this book. The best part of this book is it deals with almost every situation in different levels of relationship.

It covers the initial attraction stage, dating, it also includes a glimpse of how we fall apart in love, how to rekindle the relationship and date better, and how to have that spark again.

It also helps us to work on our darker shadows so we can work on ourselves and attract the right kind of love back into our life.

You can read the His Secret Obsession review here. We have researched and have written a detailed review.

A Note On The Author – James Bauer.

James Bauer is a well-known dating and relationship coach. He is known for his best-selling books, His Secret Obsession and What Men Secretly Want.

He has helped thousands of women across the world improve their relationships and marriage. He studied evolutionary psychology, and cultural and scientific contexts of attraction and romance to understand men and women better.

He teaches women to be irresistible and that helps in getting men to commit. The key to a long-lasting relationship is not about pushing or deceiving. It is about mutual love and activating the hero instinct.


Relationships play a huge role in our lives. Having a healthy relationship is a daily practice. Wrong relationships can hurt our overall well-being and health. Building better relationships is a skill set that not everyone can have. However, the good news is that it can always be learned.

To those women who are struggling in personal relationships, know that you are not the only one. Together we got this.

Having the best relationship is possible. You can have it all by learning how to activate your partner’s hero instinct and practicing it daily!


What Is Hero Instinct 12-Word Text Revealed?

Hero Instinct And 12 Word Text Is A Psychological Way To Trigger Your Men’s Hidden Instinct About Being A Protector For His Lady. The Psychological Way Was Introduced By James Bauer In His Relationship Book, His Secret Obsession.

What Are The Hero Instinct Words?

Simple Phrases Like, “Thank You So Much For Being There For Me, Always!” Can Help You Trigger Your Man’s Hero Instinct.

About The Author


Having written healthcare content for 5+ years, Dr. Shyamala Peesapati finds her deep love in writing. Having a remarkable experience in content and copywriting along with Search Engine Optimization (SEO) she is turning to make an impact in the healthcare community, one article at a time. The desire to write healthcare content was born out of her purpose to create awareness about rare diseases. A dentist by profession, she also has her own blog www.therareworldofficial.com/blog where she is trying to be the voice for the rare diseases community. "Of all the things I would loovveee to do, writing tops the list", she says!

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