Jane Doe, MD–My Mid-Life Career Sabbatical
Chapter 11: Missed Milestones
By Jane Doe, MD
Today my son had his first interview for a job in his career. I was not there to advise or assist or cheer. I am here.
My daughter returned to college last week, a drive of greater than a thousand miles. We arranged for my brother-in-law to go with her. I was not at home to advise upon, to assist in or to observe the preparation. I am here.
My husband was not there either; he is on a long planned trip with friends.
During my career I have missed many events, not been the first to the emergency room or not been immediately available to soothe a broken heart. However, I was always around during the buildup and for the denouement. In the loop as it were. I was there.
Now I am out of it.
This is the natural way of things as children mature. My own mother was mostly out of my loop by the time I was eighteen let alone twenty-one or twenty-four, the current ages of my children. Still, I am afflicted, not with guilt but with sadness at not being a part of their milestone events by my own choice. I can sacrifice my convenience to attend some scheduled events but the unscheduled events are impossible to attend from 250 miles away with a fellow’s schedule and lack of flexibility.
Being in the loop is something I gave up when I chose this fellowship and living apart from our family home for a year. As always, the cost is less in the abstract than in the fact.
Jane Doe, MD is pursuing another year of fellowship training after having spent 20 years in a successful practice. These are her thoughts and observations from an unusual “gap” year.